Dear friends, family,
My beloved Nancy, my one and only, passed away early this afternoon. It was very peaceful, and mercifully quick, and best of all, she was fully conscious - just as she wanted. She died at home (she came home on Monday), holding my hand, with Gemma right there. She was surrounded by love.
She will be interred on Galiano Island, as she wished, on Saturday, in a casket she asked me to make with the help of friends. This will be a closed event. There will be a memorial service in the coming weeks, and as soon as I have details, I will post them here.
The hallmark of Nancy's life was the kind and warm love she bore for all of us...and as I write these words, I can feel her love enveloping us still. Tonight, the clear sound of her freedom and peace resonate within my heart.
Rivers of gratitude pour forth for you who helped, supported, made meals, kept vigil, prayed, chanted, and most importantly, offered love. Your outpouring is humbling and graciously received, if not always overtly.
This is all for now, but I will write again.
Blessings, love,
Andrew
Andrew and Gemma,
ReplyDeleteLoving you so much
Jacki
Andrew, I love you. Erika
ReplyDeleteAndrew and Gemma, you are both in our hearts and minds. We send all our love to you both.
ReplyDeleteGail, Rodger and Leah
Andrew are Gemma, our hearts are with you. Please let us know if you need anything, now and forever. Love Petra, Alex, Sienna & Teagan
ReplyDeleteAndrew and Gemma, so so sorry. My thoughts and heart are with you, love you micbael
ReplyDeleteDear Andrew & Gemma, so very sorry for your loss. I'm holing you both in my heart in my meditations. Love, Atta
ReplyDeleteAndrew and Gemma, so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeleteCyndi Stiles
Andrew and Gemma - our thoughts are with you. Sending you love and light
ReplyDeleteBonnie, Steve and Palmer
Dear Andrew and Gemma - my heart goes out to you both. It is never easy to let go of the ones we love. I am pleased to hear Nancy was at home and surrounded by your love when she passed. I truly believe our spirit never dies but lives on and will continue to be with you both from the other side. Last night, Nancy was in my dreams telling me all the things she wanted at her memorial. I told her I didn't think I could remember them all but I am sure they will all happen miraculously - so is the way of love. I hold you both close in my heart. Sadden to lose Nancy from this physical plane. But know her warmth, light and love never die. Big hugs, Diane
ReplyDeleteDear Andrew and Gemma, I am sending love to you and Andrew I so appreciate you letting everyone know how Nancy made her transition. She truly embodied love and now she can share so much more love around the world. I feel her flying high and soaring with so much freedom and love to share. If there is anything I can offer or do please let me know. Gemma, big hugs to you and I would love to take you to lunch sometime.:) Love Lynn
ReplyDeleteChers Andrew et Gemma, Ce n'est pas facile de trouver les bons mots qui réconfortent et réchauffent le coeur de ceux qu'on aime et qu'on voudrait consoler… Peut-être serait-il mieux de se taire et de ne rien dire? Comme j'en suis incapable, je me suis réfugiée dans la musique pour me sentir en communion de coeur et d'esprit avec vous trois. Grâce à Bach (Cantate Gute Nacht), Mozart (Le requiem), Beethoven (Quatuor à corde), et Schubert (La Pastorale), j'en suis arrivée à m'imaginer que les derniers moments de vie de Nancy, avec toi et Gemma, devaient ressembler à cette musique divine: sereins, grands, émouvants, puissants, dramatiques, tendres, profonds, bouleversants et aimants…
ReplyDeleteJ'imagine aussi votre grande peine. Je la ressens profondément et je la partage. Le départ de Nancy m'attriste vraiment. Mais, je l'imagine sur l'autre rive, totalement libérée et lumineuse...
C'est sûr que je m'endormirai avec cette image, d'elle.
Je vous aime très fort, je vous embrasse et je vous envoie toute la tendresse que j'éprouve pour vous deux. Édouard se joint à moi pour vous souhaiter le courage et la force de surmonter cette épreuve difficile.
Malgré votre gros chagrin, beaux dodos à vous deux. Andrew endors toi dans la lumière de ta Nancy rendue sur l'autre rive et Gemma rêve de ta maman, lumineuse, qui ne souffre plus…
Gros bisous,
Tante Lise
Dear Andrew and Gemma ~ I am so sorry for your loss ~ I honour your sorrow ~ May you take solace in the Love that abounds ~ Janice
ReplyDeleteDearest Gemma and Andrew, what to say, I have no words... - I know how unbearable it is to lose someone so loved, so loving, so close to the core of your being - to have her body disappear from the physical plane. She was such a magnificent being, so present and so full of life. I am happy that she left the way she wanted, at peace and fully conscious and in her own home, surrounded by you and Gemma. What a gift she has left for all of us with her brave and quick journey towards her passing. It has been utterly heartbreaking and at the same time luminous and miraculous in the falling away of fear. I know that her memory will be with me forever and for sure I will remember her before I die... I can still feel her peacefulness, her acceptance and her love - this love that will be with you both forever. Sending you all our love and please let us know if there is anything we can support you with at this time. Namgyle and Raphael are at school every day and we would love to support you both any way we can and any time you need it. We can just be an ear to listen to you if that helps. We love you and are thinking of you. Gyata, Namgyle and Raphael
ReplyDeleteSincerest condolences,
ReplyDeleteGrant Chernick
dear Andrew and Gemma,
ReplyDeleteeven from this far, i feel the loss of your nancy/your mom. her deep passion for life was beautiful. as your journey through this loss continues, may nancy's ever present and deep love carry you through.
with love and heartfelt condolences,
leslie
Andrew and Gemma and Roxy, We love you so much and feel the sorrow of the passing of Nancy. It is comforting to know she is talking to people from the other side of the veil. Big time love, Linda & Smokee
ReplyDeleteDear Andrew and Gemma,
ReplyDeleteWe take comfort in knowing that Nancy passed in the way she wanted, with those nearest and dearest to her. She always was a woman of clear and conscious intention! Our hearts go out to both of you, as you each deal with the loss of your wonderful partner/mother. No words are sufficient. We will think of Nancy flying free -- and of both of you being buoyed by that great Love you have shared.
Shirley and Jim
Chers Andrew et Gemma,
ReplyDeleteC’est avec beaucoup de peine que j’ai appris la triste nouvelle.
Je ne peux passer sous silence la grande bonté de Nancy, son sourire des plus contagieux, son humour, son optimisme et son courage admirable qui ne sont que quelques-unes des qualités qui m’ont marquées chez elle. J’en garderai un excellent souvenir!!!
Ce message, bien que sincère, me semble bien peu en ces durs moments que la vie nous impose mais j’aimerais qu’il puisse vous apporter un peu de force et de reconfort.
Marc se joint à moi pour vous exprimer notre plus sincère compassion!
De tout coeur,
Cousine Lucie
Gemma and Andrew,
ReplyDeleteI'm so so glad Nancy was able to be at home with you. Today, as tears break through into my busy day, I am remembering the way she welcomed everyone to join her in the adventure of life, how she made me feel at home in her presence, how she loved beautiful details and her tenacity to find the best of everything (the best way to be Gemma's mom, healthy delicious food for family and friends – an amazing picnic at the beach, a deep desire for personal growth, her passion for supporting her students at UBC, how she found ways to get past what is difficult in life and walk in the sunshine again). I will miss her welcoming smile and infectious laugh adn so much more. And today I feel inspired by her to be more welcoming, to tell my friends and family that I love them so much. We will continue with her spirit.
Gemma, if you ever need anything, big or little, just ask. There is a special place in my heart, reserved just for you, and there always will be. Andrew, you are such a great dad and that is not always easy, especially now. I am waiting here, along with the many others who love you, to help in any way I can. Please don't hesitate to ask, if there is anything I can do, big or the littlest thing. My heart and thoughts are with you both.
Love Mary
Hi Gemma,
I miss you. Maybe we could have a sleepover sometime, whenever you want. I'm glad you have your dog to hug.
Love Sarah
Dear Andrew,
ReplyDeleteOur deepest sympathy to you and your sweet daughter on the loss of your beloved Nancy. Hugs & love to you from the Clifford family - Ann, Gordon & Karen
Hi Andrew and Gemma! I have just returned from Toronto.....the first time I ever went there was with Nancy in l997.....to help her grandmother who was in her 100s....in North York I think it was. I think the idea was perhaps "putting her in a home" but mostly all we did was scrub the walls with a solution of ammonia, and cook stuff like chocolate chip cookies - and Nancy and I seemed to bring her grandmother back to life - she had been lying on the downstairs couch for quite some time and after we left she was able to walk up the stairs and sleep in her own bed and lived on for a number of years. Nancy is in my heart and always will be. Love to you both, and to Roxie.....xoxoxoxox
ReplyDeleteA ghost, a hollow shell of my usual self
ReplyDeleteThe heartache so heavy, it weighs me down
Lethargic to the point of apathy
It slowly dawns on me:
A year ago today, you closed your eyes forever.
Such sad hearts you left behind
Andrew, a broken, inconsolable man
Living three griefs
The loss of his wife
The loss of his daughter’s mother
The loss of a lifetime with you.
Gemma, whose grief stayed dormant by day,
Deferred until the dark of the night
When her sorrow, fear and panic
Finally surfaced without reserve.
I feel a sad resentment toward you
Why did you not listen to your body earlier?
It was talking to you so loudly.
How could you die without telling my brother
One last time how much you loved him.
The depth of the despondency and melancholy I feel
For Andrew and Gemma’s grief
Does not belong to me; it’s not mine to feel
The depth of the resentment I feel
Does not belong to me; it’s not mine to feel
How happy you made my brother
For over 17 years.
How you gave him Gemma
How you made a beautiful family
How we were each other’s belle-sœur
How you found a sign for Payton’s name
How your hugs were like unspoken words
Part of a wonderful complicity
And so many other things you did
That made me happy to be part of your family.
The depth of my sorrow is equal to the depth of the joy you brought me
And that belongs to me. It’s mine to feel.
And I do.
Je t’aime, ma très belle-sœur.