Nancy's burial

Hello again,

A number of you have asked me how things unfolded after Nancy's passing.

We kept her at home, and she was washed and dressed by her girlfriends. They also transformed my office into a shrine to Nancy...it was lovely and heartbreaking all at once. Meanwhile, my men worked with me to complete Nancy's casket. The wood is reclaimed old-growth cedar, hundreds of years old. Fitting for such an old soul as Nancy. My mother Constance, brother Martin and sister Marie arrived that evening in time to join a few close people to doodle on Nancy's casket with coloured markers, as she had requested.

On June 7, we had a stunningly beautiful day on Galiano Island, where the cemetery is like a scene from a movie: exquisite, lovely, wooded, on the water's edge, with birds singing above in the canopy. Nancy's spot is in a clearing, with a view to the ocean through the trees.

Teresa Jones had decorated the gravesite with masses of roses that Gillian and Richard had provided, and it looked gorgeous. We set Nancy's casket on the grass, in the shade of a large maple tree, and sat around her on blankets and cushions. Nancy's siblings Paul, David and Olivia doodled on the casket, completing a full coverage of love tributes. Toni and Larry graciously lead the service, consisting of readings, poetry, singing, audience participation, waving, and a lot of kleenex...

We lowered her casket into the ground, and sprinkled her with flowers and soil. Gemma took her shoes off and trod all over the mound of soil that was to cover the grave.

Afterwards, Linda and Robin Heppenstall kindly hosted a luncheon at their lovely new home at the north end of the island, where we spent the afternoon reminiscing and cherishing our magnificent and beautiful soul.

It's only been a bit over two weeks, which feels both like an eternity and no time at all. Right now, her absence is a searing, crushing weight, yet the full richness of her beautiful life is a sweet balm on our grieving hearts.

I am not sure if I will write again in this space. I have a lump in my throat about this, as if writing here is a living thread to her existence. Exiting this space somehow reinforces the finality of her passing. But that is what we are facing now - just as Nancy and I faced this together by holding open the polarities of preparing for the worst while hoping for the best, Gemma and I must now co-create our future together without our beloved soul-mate and mummy. But not entirely without, as Nancy's huge love lives on in our hearts, our minds, our habits. Her enduring legacy is immense, and to sum it up most powerfully, for me, would be this: she showed us how to love. Thank you my love, my one and only.

And thank you to all her friends, her family, who showered her with support of all kinds, and with care and love throughout her illness. Your kindness is imprinted on Gemma's heart, and on mine.